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Borderlands 2 campaign of carnage intro3/19/2023 "YOU DOIN' AWESOME WITH THAT QUEST? I BET YOU ARE!"."THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO HOLD AN OPINION CONTRARY TO MINE!"."I TAKE IT BACK, KILL THEM ALL! THE STEALTH SECTIONS OF TRIANGLE QUEST 9 WERE A GREAT CHANGE OF PACE FROM THE REGULAR GAMEPLAY! BURN IN HELL, YOU BASTARDS!"."YOU SAID DIAMOND MERCENARIES 2 SUCKED, BUT YOU GAVE IT A SIX OUT OF TEN WHICH IMPLIES IT IS ABOVE AVERAGE!"."I RESENT YOU FOR DISLIKING A GAME I SPENT MONEY ON! TIME TO DIE!"."F*cking WHAT?! DIAMOND MERCENARIES 2 WAS AWESOME! VAULT HUNTER, FIND THAT ASSHOLE AND KILL HIM BECAUSE I DISAGREE WITH HIS REVIEW SCORE!"."BY REGISTERING IN THE BADASS TOURNAMENT, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE, KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T.".TONIGHT'S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER.BLOWJOBS!" THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!" "A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME."This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!"."THIS IS MISTER TORGUE SAYING THAT I AM REALLY HUNGRY."HOLY F*CKSH*T! SOME HUGE GODDAMN AIRSHIP JUST MURDERED FLYBOY!"."KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR CRAZY LANGUAGE AM I RIGHT!?"."I'm glad SOMEBODY is actually makin' an effort to fight other gladiators! The rest of you horks are just sitting around waiting for challengers to come to YOU! P*SSIES!"."OH SNAP! The monster I sent you to kill is actually a monster TRUCK! PUNS, MOTHERF*CKER!"."The Vault Hunter is going through bandits faster than a fat kid in a cookie store! NOW I WANT COOKIES!".If you're not, THIS MESSAGE IS IRRELEVANT!" "If you're still alive, grab some ammo."Holy SH*TSOCKS, that's impressive! Ladies and gentlemen, this is gonna be a HELL of a match!"."Also, you should treat Moxxi nice! NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!".His name's Pyro Pete, and he - HUGE COINCIDENCE! - kidnapped one of the freelance sponsors around here a day ago! YOU SHOULD GO KILL HIM AND MEET HIM BUT NOT IN THAT ORDER." "The number FOUR ranked badass lives out here."Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our next combatant has arrived! Does the Vault Hunter have what it takes to survive the Appetite for Destruction round? I think we all know the answer: MAAAAAAAYBEEEE!"."IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU!?".You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?" Answer: YES." "I probably shoulda set you up with a sponsor beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors.I didn't want you to get bored so I was like, F*ck it, give everybody guns! We lost like half our workforce in three days, but who gives a F*CK!?" "You may have noticed that everyone here is trying to kill you, Torgue personnel included."Also, you need a sponsor for MOTHAF*CKIN' LEGAL REASONS!"."Right now, you're ranked fifty in the badass leaderboards, which puts you behind my grandma but ahead of a guy she gummed to death."Just kidding! F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker!"."Before you can enter the tournament, you must digitally sign our legal waiver.". ![]() ![]() "THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!"."We here at the Torgue Corporation sincerely think that this is F*CKING AWESOME!!"."-BOOOOOOOOORING! You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT! AND PECS! AND EXPLOSIONS! I'm Torgue, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!".'IF YOU DON'T BUY TORGUE GUNS YOU'RE RETARDED!' The previous message from Mister Torgue did not reflect the opinions of Torgue corporation itself." "The following message from Mister Torgue does not reflect the opinions of the Torgue corporation itself."DID YOU KNOW THAT NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT OF ALL LIVING THINGS ON PANDORA AREN'T EXPLODING RIGHT NOW? THAT'S BULLSH*T, BUY TORGUE!".3.1 Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot.
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